nerditry

check out what jay wilson has to say about his newest honorary supernegro, the pbs picasso, mr. bob ross.

as a fellow 80s baby,

which means that i can’t remember things that happened in the 70s or very early 80s (n. hallucinating hova, re: this side of 40 is the new mid life crisis)

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a show that made a solid impact on me and can easily be seen as the template for my genial demeanor is Head of the Class. a show all about gifted kids and their ultra hip teach resonated with me in kindergarten, having to hang with the 2nd graders in gifted. i think i stopped watching in the end when billy connolly turned in into some kind of foreign language affair that my SAP didn’t understand.

what was your 80s intro? (2nd place for me is perfect strangers. those were some grown-ass men to be living at home that long).

check your speakers

The hyper-sexy gents and ladies (the only visual confirmation is their appearance on The Aristocrats DVD) over there broke it down for us real quick and brought more relevant information than every episode of Beef.

[via The Onion]

Prompted by Shoals’ re-cognition of Oakland’s complete disregard for a (edited) 67-win season, I felt that the Warriors are having such a good run because they no longer function as an NBA team on the floor.

It’s a team-based interpretation of what Rafer Alston went through in transitioning from high school/street ball, college street/ball to mostly NBA ball. Coming into the league with Milwaukee, there were many times that he would be caught by a ref walking, carrying the ball or something else derived from playing open run on courts without referees. It took him a while to come to two realizations:

1. NBA basketball was now his profession and he had to play that style of basketball to maintain employment.

2. By letting go of the constraints that are mentally attached to a specific style of play, he could be himself and thrive within systems as tight as Pat Riley and Jeff Van Gundy’s.

Don Nelson realized how to win a championship after leaving the Mavs, taking some time off and then picking up with the Warriors. He had controlled the Mavericks too tightly and constrained their abilities to his coaching style. Not a square hole, round peg scenario, more like a wooden frame for a velvet elvis.

He realized that he would need to be the frame, but let the players paint their own canvas.

And in doing so, he was able to create a team that let go of their NBA constraints and are playing the game that equals the five of them on the floor, making the best decisions they know how. There are set plays and specific defenses to go along with scouting, but they are tweaks of the dial that bring them to a rolling boil that stays just under the lip of the pot for just so long. Biedrins, Pietrus, and Ellis coming in to temper the mix and counter the desperate substitutions Avery finds himself backed in to.

This is a team that can win because they have an ideology and an exciting minister at the pulpit. This is about everyone subscribing to a common core belief, getting into a frenzy and unleashing it via the ability that nets them millions of fans and dollars. Dallas goes out knowing they’ve been the best and subconsciously saddled with the knowledge that they haven’t beaten the best when it counts and that revenge will unlikely be theirs.

Keep the drums beating, Golden State and they’ll be the backdrop for a rain dance in June.

just like music. on sunday morning you need to have some stuff to cool out by. johnny cash helped you start every playlist with “sunday morning coming down” and the rest is up to you. mix in some easy r&b sitting on the dock of the bay (not that specific, but you get the feeling) and lionel, reggae, allman brothers, 311, kast, and then start to move the beat counter up.

if you’re gonna lay about on sunday, keep that feeling going and night gives you a ton more options. if you want to get things going, i’ll start to move it into faster stuff and head out with the wu, ew&f, and electronic.

today’s electronic is the latest mix from mr. big brown and dowtown aka r.s. bagga, esq. aka dj pure desi. we’re brothers from another mother and the same mind frame and i’ve traveled hundreds of miles to see him spin at nation in dc. shout-out to southeast jerome.

right-click on the song title and save as to download. make sure and visit him on the tubes: puredesi.com
heat

i loved the x-files. used to watch it with my dad until 1. folks split 2. the show went to hell, changed major characters twice and in teh end, it took a series finale commercial to inform me as to the fact it was still on.

since it’s typing, i can’t really pull of the zack morris, “ok, freeze” stoppage of time. so I ask: who in the hell was still watching 90210 when it ended in 2000? did anyone know it was on this long, that it was on past seinfeld? everyone was damn near 30 from go in 1990, was ian ziering still rocking the steve sanders permmullet.

my favorite part of x-file was the conspiracy side of the game. not the toilet monster or freak of the week episodes, but the ones that were the show’s mythology. conspiracies are fun, like most boogie men there is truth in every distortion.

checking abcnews.com, there’s a story about anti-mormon dvds being distributed internationally that smells as rotten as spring herring in copenhagen.

this is not the work of religious groups in the traditional sense. it is produced and distributed by an evangelic (i haaaate that word) christian group in utah, but they don’t seem the type to butt heads in public, locally without a directive. these days, evangelicals may very well still equate to the power brokers in republican and socially conservative circles though the current idea is that the actual members of said evangelical movement are unhappy with the bush administration.

my thought is that this video is being funded by a political group or funneled through to a particular person for cover as broad and indirect attack on mitt romney. his mormonism in light of a presidential nomination campaign has been compared to that of jfk’s catholicism in 1960. he could be swift-boated during the primaries pending the competition of a viable sam brownback or fooliani as most americans are not familiar with mormons beside the osmonds and polygamy.

he’ll make an easy target if he isn’t proactive before, but he’s already caught in a quandary. if he tries to head this off at the pass, it may be awkward or damaging to initiate the conversation on his religion. if he waits for the salvos to hit, then he’s playing damage control and working to get back to even.

first, begin transmission

An homage to my favorite trashy flea market tee. Not on par with the middle aged man I saw at the Penn Dutch market proudly displaying this empowering slogan:

Now that’s not giving a shit.

So it’s Friday. That means everyone has been looking forward to the end of their work week, which is a terrible thing to be looking forward to. Giving away your week to work is balls. It does take up the majority of free time out in the world, but there are hours available soon as you get home. I know the hardest thing in the world is to avoid going home and couching it like the people that are too fat to leave the house and get fused to the furniture.

it was some heart-wrenching shit on nip/tuck when that obese woman had to be separated from her house and then couch. imagine, imagine if the McCrary Twins had begun to go T2 with their fat guy motorcycles? it’s disgusting the things our exponentially obese must endure.

I’m driving at having a reason to go out and experience things other than partially hydrogenated soybean oil and developing new techniques for the eventual TIVO world championships. A reason for the season that ain’t Jesus and certainly won’t appear as a sign from above, local to your abode.

That reason, is feelin sexy…friday sexy.

It’s imperitive that one can go to their wardrobe and pick out those clothes with the power to immediately wrap you in a mental gauze of calm, confidence and nice feelings on your bits and pieces.

A man need some silky drawers, high quality dress socks that stay up (because fuck you for white socks going out sexy), an undershirt that hugs, but doesn’t have itchy seams, and many pairs of shoes that let everyone know you’re real serious about your you. These are the sartorial splendidies one can’t go without, the keys to self actualization through fashion canonization.

My style says buy the things you feel represent the personality, mix in elements of clothes you would have worn in a bygone era (chocolate corduroy blazer. $2 plaid/tan trousers from goodwill) and think about where you want to go in the future. I’da had no indication that a pair of custom Harlem Rens Dunks would have ever graced my wheels or that I could get down with a tux jacket and jeans 2+ years ago when my style was whatever everyone else wore as recently as 2K0.

What I’m saying is go outside, do the baddest thing on the gooddest foot and actualize the fact that sexy is 90% mental, 11% bodyfat and 2% credit card debt (n. Willy Wonka, re: YOU GET NOTHING! YOU STOLE FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS! GOOD DAY, SIR!).

my advice is a few years old and best said by another brother:
“light up a joint, take a dookie and screw your wig on tight” – nephew of dolemite

ingredients of my daily web diet skew to the left, use intelligent writing to foster meaningful discourse and are written by people i would consider to be contemporaries. many of my favorites are owned/published by young writers of who have recently been able to use the imus fiasco to shed light on the major lack of accountability owned by all parties in determining who is responsible for our toxic media soup.

one of the things that I gleaned from their observations is that everyone is tired of being pandered to. being told what should be funny and exactly why it is because this is what the culture demands. and when the pandering stops working, then we realize that it’s actually just the marketing side of a carefully constructed lie.

last night, a commercial slapped me in the face and woke me up to a reality that i couldn’t have seen into a few weeks earlier.

TBS is promoting Tyler Perry’s foray into tv, “House of Payne.”

shuck and jive with me after the jump

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break out your slide rule, Conspiracy Brother, because the U.N. has scammed us again. trust that the crooks are always ahead of their captors and are more powerful when they get to be both sides of the problem.

Indians make cool £300m in carbon farce-News-UK-TimesOnline

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it was and is the greatest live sporting event i attended.

early october, 2003. i’m living in the miller mansion (it rhymed, it stayed) with a cubs fan, a mets fan, a guy who likes the mets/yankees and is having sex with cubs girl, a potential rays fan and a jesus fan (surprisingly, not a jesus from baseball). the marlins and cubs are battling to a 3-1 series lead for chicago after a fish spanking in game 4 at joe robbie.

it will forever be joe robbie. doesn’t matter. pro player, dolphins stadium, ricky’s resin-covered bowl…it stays 80s

we battled ticketmaster for as long as possible when games 5-7 were announced and on sale, losing to their piece of crap software and the nefarious ticket brokers that screw fans over. and over. and over till you spend $115 on a $35 311 concert ticket cause they’re sold out to nebbish fucks that will never step inside a concert arena.

sullen and sullied from our loss, it was a few days later that the grace of orestes destrade would again shine upon me. ms. cubs got a call from her dad in south florida that they had secured a block of seats and that we housemates were welcome to come and enjoy. we quickly accepted the offer and realized that this was saturday afternoon and we had to get there pretty damn early on sunday afternoon.

the troops were gathered early sunday morning and we ventured to the airport to rent a car and head down. well, no one was quite 25 yet and our option was for ms. cubs to strongarm her place at lockheed-martin into a rental car as a gubment employee. after much haggling and hassling, we were on our way in a spanking new ford windstar.

allow me, for a moment to explain that the wind in windstar is purely for entertainment value. it’s true meaning can be found in the amount of noise that the car produces cutting through the turnpike’s swath at 105mph. whilst said minivan is not made for such excitement, we got it to the broward/dade county line with plenty of time to spare.

and then we walked, and walked, till we ascended to the highest reaches of upper right field. i won’t say we sat far away, but i certainly saw cloud formations a few rows below us. i’d say it was closer between us and the sun that us and home plate. thank god for the tiny, terrible towels given away as i soaked a couple of em laid them inside and beneath my hat. like the baseball version of ishtar!

this is a big game. no professional championships in south florida since the marlins last won in 1997 and they trotted out the big gun to sing the national anthem. the growd goes absolute bananas when it’s announced that jose feliciano (n. i want to wish you a merry christmas…from the bottom, of my hearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt) would be the guest singer. he put out one of the most stirring and heartfelt renditions i’ve ever heard, accompanying himself with an acoustic guitar. he finishes, the non-existant roof comes off and it’s time.

here’s what happened. josh beckett went to work in a fashion that he never even matched in boston. he worked a no hitter into the fifth and gave up the only other hit as a single in the 7th. it was mastery. it felt like everyone was playing to their absolute maximum on both sides of the ball.

mike lowell homered and so did ivan rodriguez. what happened after that? same as 97, they were both gone soon after.

but who else homered? jeff conine. the gods of baseball brought him back 6 seasons later to be the man on the only team he had been able to become a star on and everyone in the stadium knew it.

marlins would win, bartman would interfere and soon i would be running around my living room, cheering another world series title with no one else home.

and this

2 world series wins in 10 years of existence

fell asleep just after halftime of the warriors/mavs. this is what people are talking about in regard to there people no single dominant team. clashes of styles are more important than most clashes of personnel as everyone has the horses.

don nelson somehow got to avery johnson and forced him to make a massive lineup change substituting devean george (which sounds like an indian colonial name) for erick dampier to counter teh small ball. i realize that avery may believe that he would have gotten run out of the gym ala the suns a few weeks back, but christ man you’re #1 in the league. i wonder if he will change back or accounts for this being more dirk’s poor performance on offense?

i worry about the mr clean magic eraser’s cleaning properties. at first i had no idea how this thing could work and like that movie envy, where does the poo go? pretty sure that the thing is a tiny, super abrasive, but smooth surface as that will strip paint with enough elbow behind it. seems more dangerous than we know and is super light but absorbs water uniquely.

that maroon 5 video is pimp. it’s what happens when you put the tv on instead of the radio or music in the morning.

i’d like to take a nap today.