nerditry

She doesn’t care what we do…she just wants to spend some time with me.

And that’s how my day went from being at work, to being happy.

• 12:42 AM Is there a more technical way to call Tropicana Field a desolate hole for baseball than that list? I’m interested to see if this series is enough to get their new stadium.
• 12:38 AM The only thing worse than the Backstreet Boys epic rendition of the National Anthem would have been hearing, “Nick Hogan with our ceremonial first pitch!”

Donald! James would have never lifted a hand to me in his life. The life that god took away too soon leaving me with these overgrown kids!

If anyone is getting whupped around here, we all know it’s Penny.

Damn, damn, damn they used this sinister fucking picture of Don on CNN.com.

Politics is dirty. Rasheed Wallace has insights.

When a person does not want to answer a question as it is asked, we know that it’s easy to deflect or even try to change subjects. But, sometimes you just have to let the questioner know that the facts are out there, they just aren’t looking for them.

I present to you one Cullen Sheehan, a fine Irish name if I’ve ever heard one and likely the scourge of Scandinavian fortress Minnesota. The land of lutefisk. The whitest place you can think of.

Mr. Sheehan is the Campaign Manager for likely outgoing Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN) and was enlisted to defend a query as to whether or not Sen. Coleman is being patronized by local businessman Nasser Kazeminy. This isn’t even as good as Jack Abramoff taking local wanker Tom Feeney (R-FL) on a Scottish vacation [||].

Sen. Coleman is accused of having his wardrobe funded by Mr. Kazeminy which sounds like a sweet fucking deal till you consider another man is paying for your drawers. Secondarily, that means another motherfucker could stroll up on Sen. Coleman and demand that he give him his clothes back right then. Not even in prison, a man could just walk up on you and demand those drawers?

Not to say this man isn’t a political gold digger, but he’s also having some other dude help out on the rent for his apartment. Those are ho-ish tendencies if I’ve ever heard them. Got a man paying for his clothes, another putting a little something toward rent and no one thinks this is getting them some Senatorial blow downs? Fuck you.

Enjoy as Mr. Cullen defends these allegations and channels your favorite player, Rasheed Wallace.

!nerd up

He’s a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman.

RIP Isaac Hayes

I loved that motherfucker.

Damn.

Rest up Mac, you’re gonna be playing for the greats, now.

Jesus said, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, to God the things that are God’s, and to Evan sane drivers and a clear left lane…” (Mark 12:13-17)

Rarely do I ever feel like I’m better than another person because we all have deep flaws and a tendency to forget them in light of others’. On the highway, this enlightenment has not reached so far into my brain. Each day I commute with my co-worker J the twenty-five odd miles each way to The Office, alternating weeks and paying $2.50 a day in tolls. It’s a time for small talk or kvelling on the batshit driving scenarios we encounter daily.

Though I’ve done the dirty dance with a guard rail last May 07 (no parties harmed and my car was returned in under 2 weeks), I consider myself an adept driver who is genuinely distressed about the driving habits of others. Riding in the passenger seat half the time allows me to observe and maybe understand the reasons that people lose their minds on the road (Orlando is annually a Top 10 Worst Traffic Champion).

Our country is currently in a thick malaise, emulsified by dirty politics, a lack of direction, no firm goals and bad enough credit that everyone’s lights get shut off. Giving someone the finger in response to dissatisfaction in their driving habits should be put tossed in the garbage at the next gas station. International variations, I admonish you to sleeve the “V” in the UK and pocket the chin-hand-flippy deal in Italy.

One pissed off man’s “V” is the same as a protester’s Peace sign here in the states. Lord knows every Asian person on vacation poses with a Peace sign for the camera.

I present to you, The Thumbs Down. A symbol that leaves no room for interpretation, none for appeal and ripe with knowledge that the presenter condemns your most recent action. An emotional gallows for your lack of turn signal during an exciting session of Driving Whiled Crackberried.

I’ve field tested this and have seen dramatic results. Recipients are immediately surprised as nothing like this has ever been sent their way, as they’ve been in the right, and only assholes give people the finger. But this?





This is a regal judgment. Someone has taken the time to consider your action and has rendered a verdict. This has been a rational process, tenths of a second long and you now bear the mark of being thrown back into the lion’s den as an ancient goyim would.

Friends and readers, drivers, subway riders, bus takers, boarders, take this with you. Employ it. Spread amongst the masses. Take the offense out of telling your fellow travelers that they indeed have fucked up and need to watch that ass in the future, lest I be given reign at the DOT. Peace be with you.

All thumbnails are clickable for a 1000×750p

Jays @ Rays : Special series at The Ballpark
(Disney’s Wide World of Sports)

National Anthem

Rays Pitcher Jason Hammel

Rays All Star 3B Evan Longoria

Rays Closer Troy Percival

Fud!

Platanos Maduros al Tostone
(almost ripe plantains in the style of tostones)

Red Snapper on the Grill

stay delicious+
!nerd up

HOT. GOD. DAMN!

Speaker of the House and general disappointment for the rest of the Democratic Party Nancy Pelosi grew the most Bocce of Balls when still no one else is able to. She straight up called POTUS retarded.

Make no mistake. When you want to discuss someone’s abilities and capacity to perform and preface with “God bless him, bless his heart…“, it’s a declaration that this person is one of “God’s Children.” A man that everyone says good job! to, because darn it he tried. Someone that you can keep on the leash with the promise of of ice cream and pizza parties.

I’m sending out a special dedication here on the Quiet Storm to Barry and Miche-Miche, please undo the top button and let shit fly. You can’t let the Speaker (who spoke out of turn for a great number of her own constituents on impeachment) get out in front of anything when it’s your show to run. It’s your summer and people don’t care about The Party, they’re waiting to see some backbone and fire. Don’t try to outsmart the guy since that’s what got Kerry into trouble…just prove that the office needs to return to the highest standards and John McCain is in no way qualified. The brainy part should be concentrated on progress, not rhetoric.

And it was all that could be glorious.

Heath must = Oscar Nomination.

Can’t wait for you to enjoy it, too.